A Traveling Blog

Tomorrows the big day. How do you even prepare yourself for something like that, where it will be the official goodbye. Seeing her for the first time in 8 months, and for the last time. The last time I’ll see her after 20 years that she’s been with me, always there encouraging me, cheering me on in the sidelines, never once faltering her faith in me. To be honest, I don’t think reality has really sunk in yet. It really hasn’t hit. Though the worst moment was probably finding her camcorder, seeing her last videos that she recorded when she was on her Europe Trip. Yah my grandma was always quite the traveler. Didn’t even knew she went to Austria, France, Italy, and who knows which other countries. She just tells us she’s going to be traveling for a couple weeks, we find it normal. Guess its in my blood to travel eh? Heck she even went to Africa before I did. Her last video was her in Paris, which ironically was also my last city in Europe (not including Dublin), and also the city I told her I wanted to live in, and she said she couldn’t wait to live there. She wanted to visit Ireland so much, I told her to wait until spring when it got warmer and not so rainy and gloomy. One month, thats when she would have been in Dublin. 

So on another note, Saturday instead of going back to Dublin I’ll be going back to China to be with family there, and won’t be going back to Ireland until exams on May 1st. Its so strange how things end up. I still remember the day before I got the text from my dad, there was an entire week of sunshine predicted for Dublin, first time ever since I had been there. I had plans to go horseback riding in the morning, then the next day a picnic in Phoenix Park, and then my first sunday brunch with my roommate. I had all of April planned for trips around Ireland. The first time ever that I didn’t book any Europe trips. Then of course all those plans are shattered. That’s the biggest lesson in life I’ve learned, you can plan and plan and plan all you want, but life takes its own course. You can never prepare for things like this to happen. There’s not much I can do, but remember her for the spirited, joyous and most intelligent grandmother that she was. I wish you guys could see all the things that she did in her lifetime, the house is full of her paintings, she loved Bob Ross, couches that she wrapped up, jackets, dresses that she made for us when we were younger, she really was the most amazing and talented person I knew. You really will be missed grandma <3 

Sometimes its easier to just write down how you’re feeling rather than to tell people. Ok well here it is: 

Yes I’m back in Vancouver. Not by choice. Not by the reasons that should be. Not because I want to. Not because it would even bring me an ounce of happiness right now. You know when you get that phone call and your heart just drops? And the world around you just spins, you feel so alone and helpless and just paralyzed in shock. Well I got that phone call 2 days ago. Or more so a text from my dad to call him. He told me to get on the first flight back to Vancouver because my grandmother had fallen ill. I booked my flight, packed up and was ready to get on the next flight which was 12 hours. 3 hours before my flight I find out that my dad had played it down terribly. That my grandma had passed away already. 

Its a really strange thing when a family member passes away. I haven’t even visited a family member in the hospital before, and here I was that day thinking I had the chance to see her again, tell her I loved her, so I went into town and bought things I thought she would like. Its a weird feeling carrying things in your luggage that you know you can never give the person anymore. That flight home was the longest flight of my life. Everything around me really just didn’t matter, all I focused on was getting back to Vancouver, home. Yet that concept of home was such a blur in itself. Was it still home to me? The one person who was there that made the status home was no longer there. It was an empty house, sitting desolate and alone. 

I’ve grown up with my grandma my entire life, she was there when I was born in the Burnaby Hospital. She was the caring mother, the protective father, and the warming grandmother all in one. She gave up everything to take care of my sister and I. Her whole life revolved around us, making sure we grew up healthy, happy and had a bright future. She was there when no one else was, when my mother left and my dad went on business. She did everything she could to fill a void that she thought we would have. And she did. Not once did I feel like a child growing up in an abnormal family, or without parents around. To me she made life normal, happy, just like any other kid. She taught me about boys, maths, talked about future careers. Everything. She was the brightest and most talented person I knew. We always said that if she was born in this decade she would have been president. Having been in Canada for over 20 years she didn’t know a word of English past “hello, i dont speak english” yet she was able to take care of the house, get mortgages, banking, everything. If you ever met her you knew she was something else. She had this giant smile when she greeted you. She’d make friends everywhere she went. Shannon and I always thought it was ridiculous how she made friends with everyone, from the mailman, bank teller, even the hot boys down the street that we didn’t talk to. For a 74 year old grandmother who didnt know any English, it was quite impressive. 

This year that I went to Ireland was the only year that I had been so far apart from her. The only year that I thought I was old and mature enough that I didn’t need constant care from her, that I thought “Hey its ok if I dont call her everyday, I’ll see her in a couple months”. Never take things for granted. The last time I called her was about a week ago, the first time I had called since being in Ireland. I told her I was coming back in April to visit, and she was so excited. I still remember what she said “Lani!! Im dancing around and kissing your picture, I cant wait till you come back! Grandma missed you so much!” We talked about how she could fly back to Ireland with me, she’s always wanted to visit Ireland. She was going to stay for that week I had exams then we would go to China together. I told her I fell in love with Paris. She said she couldn’t wait to live in Paris with me. When I was small I promised her that no matter where I went, I would take her with me. I told her that my future husband just had to deal with it. 

And now through just one phone call, I’m sitting in my house in Vancouver, the last place where my grandma was, picking out an outfit for the funeral. Do you know what it’s like to be walking through a house, and everywhere was memories of her. This house was hers, you’ll see the walls decorated with her paintings that she was so proud of. Little statues that she decided to dress up with scarves, and her bed that had teddy bears because she said that Shannon and I were now too old to cuddle with. 

Just like that, life goes on. Just like that I’ll never be able to say I love you to her. She always said that she hated the words love, and that there was no such thing in the world. But dear grandma, I love you. Forever and always. WIth all my heart. I know you’re in a better place, I know you’re happy, and I know you’re looking down and smiling at us, and I’ll make sure I make you proud, and no matter where I go you’ll always be with me. 

Love,

Lani

Everyone knows that songs bring on these emotions when you’re listening to them, and there’s always that one song when I’m traveling or away from home that I can’t listen to because it will just make me too emotional.

A couple years back when I was in China for the summer when the song was first released I listened to it and the lyrics were just so perfectly fitting. Somehow it manages to capture exactly how I felt, guess that’s what good songs do eh? You have been warned, if you’re traveling and far from home especially if you’re getting homesick this song should be avoided.

‘Another summer day is come and gone away
in Paris and Rome, but I wanna go home.
May be surrounded by a million people
I still feel all alone still wanna go home
Another aeroplane another sunny place
I’m lucky I know but I wanna go home.
I got to go home’
-Home by Michael Buble

Usually I avoid this song as much as I can when I travel, but I guess nearly 7 months into being away from home I’m allowing myself a day of being homesick. I always tell myself how lucky I am to be doing all that I am doing, and I know its a vicious cycle when I’m in Europe I’ll miss Vancouver and when I miss Vancouver I’ll miss Europe. The best cure I’ve found for homesickness is just to keep yourself busy and do things that make you happy. Don’t dwell on things from home, and it helps when you can talk to your friends often, skype comes in handy here.

So just thought I’d share that with everyone, and if you haven’t heard the song before, its one of my favorites, definitely give it a go. Anyone else have a homesick song?

This Saturday will officially mark 6 months that I’ve been in Ireland and on this exchange. And of course I’ll tell you the cliche that time flies when you’re having fun, and oh boy did time fly. I can’t believe that only 6 months ago to this day I was still packing up my apartment in Vancouver, haven’t even packed yet (I pretty much packed 2 days before my fight) and still didn’t know whether or not I needed a visa. It doesn’t really hit you that you’re going to be away for so long, be away from home, friends, your comfort zone. I wont lie, I’ve definitely been homesick a couple times, especially during Christmas. What I do is just try not to think about it, and focus on all that I could be doing in Ireland and Europe and think about what my friends are missing out on. If you’re too homesick then you won’t really be able to enjoy your exchange/travels. You go through these phases, first 2 months in the new place you love every moment of it, into the third and fourth you start missing comfort foods, home, friends, then 6 months from what I’ve heard is when you get extremely homesick and just want to go back. Then things pick up again and you start loving your new environment again, but then the one year mark you either love the new place you’re in or hate it.

Well after 6 months this is what exchange has taught me:

Life changing..literally

You always here that “exchange will change your life, traveling change your life…etc” but you know what it really does. It changes your outlook, and gives you this whole new perspective to life. For me, I’ve now realized that in one sense the world is so much bigger and larger out of the context of just  Vancouver. Just in Europe alone there are so many different cultures, landscapes, people, that videos and pictures don’t do justice. On the other hand, once you leave North America and fly over to Europe, the world gets a lot smaller. Its so easy to travel around, even to Egypt it was only a 4.5hour flight! (sorry NZ and Aus, you’re still a bit far..) Well I realized after this exchange that even though I love Vancouver and there’s a special place in my heart for it, I definitely want to live in Europe; London would be on the top of my list. How would I have known this if I hadn’t come on this exchange? 

You never know what you had till its gone 

Everyone in Vancouver knows that there’s beautiful scenery, we have the mountains, Whistler one of the best ski and snowboarding places in the world, beaches in the summer, oceans, and of course the best food from all over the world. Hop on a skytrain or bus and you’ll be in Yaletown enjoying some of the best cuisin with the seawall right there for a brisk walk. And of course the sushi, oh how I miss the sushi! But you never really appreciate any of that until you’re 4,467 miles away (yah I googled). You don’t appreciate the fact that life in Vancouver is so relaxing, laid back, we’ve got a great transit system (sorry Dublin buses but you suck), and after my trip to the Italian Alps I have a new found love for snowboarding, and I can’t believe I’ve never taken advantage of the fact that Whistler is only a 1.5 hour drive from my house! I am definitely getting a season pass next year. We don’t realize that people in Europe pay thousands of dollars for that holiday in Vancouver. So for those of you in Vancouver, go do some touristy things that Vancouver is known for, Whale Watching, Capilano Suspension Bridge, Victoria, bungee jumping so that when you meet someone who has been to Vancouver and tells you about all these amazing things they did there you dont just nod and say “yes Vancouver has amazing sushi…”

Know your friends

When you’re so far away from home for so long and you get that post on your wall “omg I miss you!!!!!!” you know the ones who actually mean it and the ones that just post it and never talk to you again. Of course its very hard to keep in touch with friends back home considering the time difference, school work, work etc. But thats when you know who your real friends are, the ones that take time out of their day to skype with you, the ones that are there for you when you get homesick, through the good and bad. I’ve sent many postcards and Christmas cards home, but heres to Sanja, the only person who took the effort and sent me a Christmas card which totally made my day <3 And also Viv G who skyped with me pretty much every single day for the first couple of months, it made settling in so much easier.

Even on exchange you’re going to meet so many new people from all over the world, and while you spend the time with them now, it will be so much more difficult to keep in touch when everyone goes back home. And realistically five years from now you won’t remember all those new 100 facebook friends you made so make the relationships count. So heres to my exchange friends and can’t wait to have our reunions in Vancouver, Calgary, NewZealand, Germany and US!

Embrace the change

On exchange you’re going to meet people from all over the world and even just around Europe the cultures vary so much. I’ve found it so interesting learning about the work habits, social qualities and relationships between the different nationalities. It is definitely a challenge at times, but something so useful for the future. For example, the Irish students are very family oriented, every weekend they’ll all pack up and go home and pretend to be good little boys and girls who didn’t party 5 days straight and kill their liver. The big campus and club events are always nights out, so good luck trying to sell them a $10 ticket for a conference to listen to a speaker.

So be like a chameleon and try to adapt to different cultures, it will make things a lot easier. If you’re working with Germans I suggest showing up to meetings on time and prepared, then have a couple late dinners with the Italians and party the night away with the Irish.

Eh?

“So where in America are you from?” oh the times I have been asked this question. Sorry but I’m Canadian. I really don’t take offense to this, and always when I tell them I am from Canada the How I Met Your Mother references come flying in. No we don’t say “oot” or “aboot” (aka out and about) and we aren’t afraid of the dark (my ikea lamp is only decorative I swear) but we do love our hockey and timmy hos. I’ve realized on this exchange though that how similar the Canadian and American cultures are, even though we’re so different. Talk about oxymoron. We’ve got similar work ethics, same accent (all the west and central North America sounds the same pretty much), tastes in food, clothing and love for perezhilton. For some reasons I’m always drawn like a magnet to Americans, and on exchange you can easily fall into that where you just stick with your own culture or what you know. And Canadians are much more Americanized (or Americans are Candianized?) than I thought. But you know what, play up that Canadian card, trust me it pays off ;)

Thought I would post up some pictures from the highlights of my exchange thus far, this is sure to make me cry when I get back home!(this doesn’t include any of my travels, cause thats a post on its own!)

My first view of Ireland on the plane

First day trip with the gang to Howth

That random night we ended up on the big blue bus

Arthurs Day (ignore Babsi’s bulmers :P)

Achill Island, first time seeing sheep (I keep telling my Irish friends that we just don’t have sheep in Vancouver..we do have skunks, deer, coyotes, raccoons…)

Halloween week

The Irish and their love for snow… beer cans for buttons, how fitting

Our international dinners, me learning how to make legit German dumplings!

Playing volleyball for UCD

Random nights out

Thanks to all the people who have made my exchange so memorable and unforgettable thus far, cheers to the next 6 months being just as amazing!

<3